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Post by believe808 on Jul 2, 2009 12:17:39 GMT -5
Figured I'd start it up for the day so we have somewhere to play.
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Post by believe808 on Jul 2, 2009 12:19:24 GMT -5
I can't figure out this board
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2009 15:07:45 GMT -5
I think you figured it out Donna - you started a thread, anyway. Thanks for doing that.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2009 15:08:13 GMT -5
Geez it looks like I got demoted.
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Post by believe808 on Jul 3, 2009 18:53:33 GMT -5
I know you went away for weekend Ro, but I'll talk to you anyway since this is a ghost town. So, I'm sitting here and have dye on my head. I'm listening to music and playing games. I am so d**n bored. I hope you have a great weekend, I really think that's what you need. Just to get away and sit in silence. I need silence, maybe I'll go to the church tomorrow. Well, I'm gonna go play a game.
Hi Nel, Stoney, HOS, Espresso, IO, Least, CMC, Rusty, and who ever else I forgot. I'll check back later.
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 17:58:15 GMT -5
Glad they are finally doing this update, I was tired of looking at the banner on top of screen going past my eyes every time I was on.
Just got back from my meeting with my sponsee, she had been drinking but wouldn't admit it. Another young kid was nodding and dropped his step book while reading from it.
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louis
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Post by louis on Jul 6, 2009 18:36:51 GMT -5
Is that hard on a sponsor... when you see that sort of thing happening?
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 18:44:10 GMT -5
It makes me very sad Louis. I become pretty close with sponsee's and I'm afraid that their disease will take them all the way out and they will not be able to make it back. I've seen deaths due to this disease and I don't want to lose someone I care so deeply for.
Are you new to SR Louis?
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louis
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Post by louis on Jul 6, 2009 18:45:03 GMT -5
worked out LIS hehehhehe
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 18:46:31 GMT -5
I'm trying to figure out how to get an avatar. Got to ask Dee, maybe he knows.
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louis
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Post by louis on Jul 6, 2009 18:47:57 GMT -5
Hi...
I've been a memeber of SR since february wen i had my last drink.... i struggle with AA... not in the sense of it being AA... because i find it helpful... i just really struggle going... to begin its because of speaking... but now ive isolated so much... its so hard walking back through them doors again
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 18:50:45 GMT -5
I remember posting on your AA thread. It was you, wasn't it? You should never feel that way Louis. The people of AA do not judge and will not judge you. When I came back into the rooms, I felt like I was home. I was welcomed with open arms. You should really try it again. Go with an open mind.
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louis
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Post by louis on Jul 6, 2009 18:51:14 GMT -5
My counselor and i were talking... they use AA and NA and said.... they dont want to sponsor anyone as they dont real they have the time to commit.... but maybe thats why we were put on the same path.... so they have been going through the big book with me.... i question everything.... not in a bad way... just in i want to understand....
So even thouh i dont go to meetings often... its about 3wks now... i am questioning step 3 & 4 just now
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 18:53:09 GMT -5
And you don't have to speak right now. Just identify yourself and if your meetings count days up to 90 then share that. Once you do it a couple of times, it will come natural. Everyone in the rooms has been where you are at now, so they all know what you are feeling, we think we are unique in how we feel, but are surprised to find out that everyone has felt the same way.
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louis
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Post by louis on Jul 6, 2009 18:54:57 GMT -5
I keep wanting to.... even tonight i thought... go on just go back in.... but i chickened out again and its a shame cos i know it helps me when i go.... its just hard going...
I have written abit about AA... especially when i first joined... so it was probably me you responded to....
Is a shame.... after 4 months and my head is still playing the same silly mind games with me
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 18:57:38 GMT -5
Have you done Step 1 & 2? What I mean is when I got a sponsor she had me read Step 1 & 2 every day for about 3 weeks, until I without a doubt admitted that I was totally powerless, my life was completely unmanageable and I believed that there was a power greater than me, I choose to call God my HP.
Then Step 3, Made a decision to turn life over to HP. I have to do that constantly, because I am so use to thinking I am in control of my life, I get to that point where there is so much pain and it is then that I remember to let go of it and turn it over.
All 3 steps must be taken daily.
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 19:01:57 GMT -5
You just gotta do it Louis. Don't chicken out, there are so many like you in the rooms. I believe you really do want to use AA but you're afraid. Don't be afraid, it was more frightening walking into a bar by myself or a party by myself. That's why I drank, fear of people, situations, places, etc. I was a real scaredy cat and to some degree I still am, but I am getting better at it. I always felt so alone, but now with the people in AA, I have friends, real friends, who make me feel comfortable, loved and above all welcomed. I never felt welcomed anywhere just for being me. I always felt I had to try to be someone else, but I don't have to do that in AA. They like me for just being myself.
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louis
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Post by louis on Jul 6, 2009 19:04:03 GMT -5
I have sort of i think... its just a new think but my counselor says the way i talk i have done step one.... i know i cant drink and that when i do it takes over me completely and anything i try and do...
step 2.... I am still thinking about..... yes i beleive that if i cant sort my life i have to beleive there is something that can help me do it or do it for me... but i dont know what it is yet...
My counselor told me to write down everything i would want a HP to be.... male/female... how i would like them to react to me etc.... just to get some shape/substance to it
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 19:08:21 GMT -5
I think your counselor is very wise Louis.
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louis
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Post by louis on Jul 6, 2009 19:08:52 GMT -5
I get that.... i am afraid... i just cant verbalise what of... the speaking yeah.... but i think.... i made a friend through AA and we get on great.... really well... we chat daily... are really comfy talking to eachother... they have about 2months more sober time on me and we spend most of our time questioning everything... cos were about the same place etc...
I said one day that when i go into meeting i prefer it if they dont know me.... to me... i still need to keep that little bit of me back.... i cant give myself fully yet... i still need to protect myself if that makes sense
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 19:11:07 GMT -5
Oh by the way, congratulations on your 4 Months sober  It is your disease playing games with your mind. It will always do that you know.
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louis
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Post by louis on Jul 6, 2009 19:13:23 GMT -5
They are i think.... but they said they are just saying to me what they were told.... and if it worked for them... it could work for me hey!
Also they said their HP changed/developed over time... it started male and then became female.... which i think is good for me to here.... because then i am not trapped with my original conception (hope thats right word)....
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louis
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Post by louis on Jul 6, 2009 19:16:03 GMT -5
Thankyou....
Thanks for talking/listening to me.... i really appreciate it.... and glad to see your figuring out the controls on the board here....
I still wannna go home though... back to SR.... we addicts really really dont like change do we hehehehehe
Thanks again and take care.... i hope you can work things through with the people you sponsor... you got some wise words in you
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 19:18:55 GMT -5
i made a friend through AA and we get on great.... really well... we chat daily... are really comfy talking to eachother... they have about 2months more sober time on me and we spend most of our time questioning everything... cos were about the same place etc... Yes, and that's because you are both going through the same thing, but you must understand that its exactly how most of the people in AA are. We've all been in pretty much the same place one time or another. You don't have to be friends with everyone there, we are all different in our ways of life but the same with our diseases. I said one day that when i go into meeting i prefer it if they dont know me.... to me... i still need to keep that little bit of me back.... i cant give myself fully yet... i still need to protect myself if that makes sense I joined my home group because I wanted to be accountable to someone else besides myself. I knew if I didn't have to answer to anyone, not really answer but if I didn't let someone get to know me, I could fool myself into thinking I could use again. The people in my HG have really gotten to know me, if I walk in and am not in good space, I will say I am fine but they will know and say I don't think you are fine. That's what I need someone to call me on my bullsh*t. |
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Post by believe808 on Jul 6, 2009 19:20:39 GMT -5
That's what sobriety is about Louis, one alcoholic helping another. You have helped me more than you know tonight. Thank you my friend.
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Hello, my friends! 
❤️
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